Sunday, January 24, 2010

Day 1

280. 280. 280.

280 of something can be a good thing ... dollars, friends, etc... But when you are a 5'9" 24-year old female, 280 is not the number you want to see when you get on the scale. The makes my BMI a whopping 40.5 which can have devastating effects on my health. It is most definitely the time in my life to finally make a change in my life.

I have had a pretty long history of weight struggles. Not only have I personally always struggled with weight, so have most members of my family. It is no excuse, but it is definitely hard to manage your weight when everyone in your family is eating poorly.

I love food. I will state that right now. I am not going to pretend that I do not understand why I am so overweight - it is because I have absolutely no self-control when it comes to food. I also do not exercise. I know, shocking that I am grossly overweight, right?

I was trying to think of some goals to have - in the way or pounds or even inches off my weight. I did some research and found websites saying that females who are 5'9" should weight between 140-170. To me a goal of 100 pounds seems the best - I will never be thin, I just love food too much. Who knows what could happen though? All I know is that I am tired of being the fat girl, I am tired of being grossly heavier than my boyfriend and I am tried of feeling like I am not good enough. That is why I am calling this blog "Shedding My Baggage" as opposed to just "Shedding the Weight" or something else. Because I am not just trying to lose weight; I am also trying to lose those negative aspects of myself that are holding me down! I don't expect anyone to even read this; I am not even telling my friends. It is mostly for me - to keep me motivated, to have somewhere to talk about my journey. And if someone sees this and gets something from it, that is just icing on the cake! Mm cake, haha juuuust kidding.

So where do I go from here? I am currently in my second semester of my second year of law school and I have a very intense schedule. Some days I start at 9:00 am and don't finish until 8:20 pm. Mygoal, for now, is to make healthier decisions when it comes to what I eat. I also want to exercise at least 4 times a week. Honestly, I am embarrassed to go to the gym because of how I look, but I know that is silly. I need to let go of stupid insecurities and get moving!

That's all I really have for now ... I do want to post a photo of how my body looks at 280 pounds, as well as the delicious dinner I made for my boyfriend on Saturday night (not the healthiest, but not the worst either). Just a forewarning - my camera is pretty crappy, so the photos aren't so hot.

This is my body at 280 pounds.

This is the meal I made for the bf on Saturday night ... I roasted new potatoes, butternut squash, carrots and whole garlic cloves with some rosemary for 45 minutes at 350. I rubbed the boneless, skinless chicken breast with salt, pepper and rosemary and pan-roasted it in about 1 tbsp of olive oil. It was one delicious meal!

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