Success!

I titled this post "Success!" not because I've had some major breakthrough or anything so magical. I titled it "Success!" because I have actually returned for a second day of blogging! I have had many previous blogs, including this exact same blog started in September 2009, and I always start out positive and raring to go. My first post is exciting; I am ready to finally make this change in my life. Then ... Day 2 hits. I forget about the blog, or eat so horribly that I am embarrassed to write about it. So trust me, this is a success!

My day was pretty blah today, honestly. I woke up pretty late (around 10 am) and had this for breakfast:

This was a some steel cut oats that I made the night before and mixed in the morning with a little bit of skim milk, cinnamon and brown sugar. It was quite delicious and since I ate it so late I wasn't very hungry for lunch (not really a good thing).

Since I wasn't super hungry for lunch, I snacked on some pretzels and headed out to my Insurance Law class at 2:30 (I'm in my second year of law school ... more on that another time). This class really dragged for me today and by the time I got out at 4:20 I was starving! Definitely need to eat a better lunch next Monday! After class I drove over to Trader Joes where I stocked up on things such as ground turkey, lots of fresh veggies, apples, chicken stock, some frozen treats, eggs and bread. Because I was so hungry I snacked on some super thin (and delicious) lemon cookies.

When I got home, I set to work making this: Butternut Squash Soup! Most recipes I found used a lot of creams or half-and-half and I wanted to make this relatively healthy! Here was the end result:

With a diet coke, of course ... more on THAT later as well.

With a little parmesan cheese sprinkled on top, it sure was delicious! On the side I had 2 pieces of sprouted wheat bread with some Promise butter spread on it. I have a big problem with portion control, plus I was very hungry from no real lunch. This batch was supposed to make 6 servings, but I ended up dividing it into 3 only (my squash was also a little small). This will be a delicious dinner for tomorrow as well!

Unfortunately, I did not exercise tonight. By the time I got home from Trader Joes it was rainyish weather and the walk I wanted to take was a no-go. I also had about 80 pages to read for classes tomorrow. Tomorrow doesn't look good either, since I have class until 8:20. But I do have 3 hours free tomorrow, so I hope to take a long walk and do some weights!

Goodnight!

Day 1

280. 280. 280.

280 of something can be a good thing ... dollars, friends, etc... But when you are a 5'9" 24-year old female, 280 is not the number you want to see when you get on the scale. The makes my BMI a whopping 40.5 which can have devastating effects on my health. It is most definitely the time in my life to finally make a change in my life.

I have had a pretty long history of weight struggles. Not only have I personally always struggled with weight, so have most members of my family. It is no excuse, but it is definitely hard to manage your weight when everyone in your family is eating poorly.

I love food. I will state that right now. I am not going to pretend that I do not understand why I am so overweight - it is because I have absolutely no self-control when it comes to food. I also do not exercise. I know, shocking that I am grossly overweight, right?

I was trying to think of some goals to have - in the way or pounds or even inches off my weight. I did some research and found websites saying that females who are 5'9" should weight between 140-170. To me a goal of 100 pounds seems the best - I will never be thin, I just love food too much. Who knows what could happen though? All I know is that I am tired of being the fat girl, I am tired of being grossly heavier than my boyfriend and I am tried of feeling like I am not good enough. That is why I am calling this blog "Shedding My Baggage" as opposed to just "Shedding the Weight" or something else. Because I am not just trying to lose weight; I am also trying to lose those negative aspects of myself that are holding me down! I don't expect anyone to even read this; I am not even telling my friends. It is mostly for me - to keep me motivated, to have somewhere to talk about my journey. And if someone sees this and gets something from it, that is just icing on the cake! Mm cake, haha juuuust kidding.

So where do I go from here? I am currently in my second semester of my second year of law school and I have a very intense schedule. Some days I start at 9:00 am and don't finish until 8:20 pm. Mygoal, for now, is to make healthier decisions when it comes to what I eat. I also want to exercise at least 4 times a week. Honestly, I am embarrassed to go to the gym because of how I look, but I know that is silly. I need to let go of stupid insecurities and get moving!

That's all I really have for now ... I do want to post a photo of how my body looks at 280 pounds, as well as the delicious dinner I made for my boyfriend on Saturday night (not the healthiest, but not the worst either). Just a forewarning - my camera is pretty crappy, so the photos aren't so hot.

Goodnight!

This is my body at 280 pounds.

This is the meal I made for the bf on Saturday night ... I roasted new potatoes, butternut squash, carrots and whole garlic cloves with some rosemary for 45 minutes at 350. I rubbed the boneless, skinless chicken breast with salt, pepper and rosemary and pan-roasted it in about 1 tbsp of olive oil. It was one delicious meal!